Too Cool for School

When my siblings and I were still kids but old enough to dread the end of summer, my Dad used to wind us up by singing this really annoying song on the eve of the first day back to school.

"School Days...school days...dear old Golden Rule daaaays...."

It used to make us very crabby.

I'd say we've got a few years ahead of us before it comes to that in our house. But, we did have quite a lot of excitement around here in the lead up to our latest milestone: the very FIRST day of school.

We say school...technically it is daycare. Having stayed at home with our son for his first two years, for me this felt like a transition as important as starting school. Plus, the daycare we chose offers a very structured, arts-based curriculum, so my feeling is that it probably is more educational than perhaps the preschool I attended when I was young. Possibly even my elementary school.

You think I'm exaggerating? The sample curriculum for our son included learning colors with Mondrian and understanding math concepts with Prokofiev. I’m pretty sure I can’t even pronounce Prokofiev. I guess what I’m trying to say is that my husband and I look forward to having a toddler who can beat Ken Jennings at Jeopardy!, America's Favorite Quiz Show®.

But even before we had to get ourselves and our child through the first day, we had to get our heads around a number of other considerations. Did we want a structured or fluid environment? Should we consider a large chain or a local independent facility? And, most importantly, could we trust our child with another person, in an unfamiliar environment?

It's officially the first parental minefield I have had to navigate.

Over the next few months, I suspect more parents will be navigating this as well. In addition to the existing daycare options in the neighborhood, spring will see the opening of at least two new daycare facilities in the area. Sitters Studio, which already has a studio in Carroll Gardens, opens a second location in the area. Preschool of America is also due to open a location in Cobble Hill this spring.

My husband and I were lucky to have an existing relationship, and therefore a baseline level of trust, with the at-home sitting service of the daycare we ultimately chose. For us, even though we knew the service, we still wanted to ensure that we had done our homework.

We toured both locations of the daycare we chose. Our first tour happened to be during the week so we had the benefit of seeing the care in action. Our son was welcomed into the group and we were invited to stay as long as we liked. Not only did this give me the opportunity to assess whether it was a clean, healthy, safe environment for my child, but I was also able to observe how the other children engaged and whether or not they seemed, frankly, happy. They did. And when it came time for us to leave, I practically had to drag my son out of there.

We also attended an open house at the second location where we were able to meet with the director and ask questions. This gave us a chance to hear in more detail about their approach to care and learning and also understand more about the curriculum.

But what if you don't have links to a daycare facility? How can you ensure you've done "due diligence?" As a start, Parenting magazine has an online Daycare FAQ that provides some useful general guidance: http://www.parenting.com/article/daycare?cid=searchresult

There is also a great overview of questions to ask the daycare when making your decision, posted right here on Local Voices:

Good local resources are the BoCoCa Parent Listserv and message board. I have already responded to a handful of queries about the sitting service we use and one specifically about the daycare side of the service and have been very happy to give my honest feedback on the experience we have had so far.  Visit the BoCoCa Parent group here:  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bococa_parents/

Of course, once you make the decision, it’s time to mentally prepare for the transition itself. We spent a few weeks hyping up “school” to our son. He’s never really had any separation anxiety issues, but he’s also never really consistently been away from us either so it didn't hurt to try to generate some goodwill.

Finally the big day was upon us. I looked at our son, standing at the front door, all dressed and waiting to head to school. He was looking prit-ty cool in his skinny jeans and Chuck Taylors.  Almost too cool for school. Collar popped, he seemed ready to take on the world. But when I looked more closely, I noticed he was clutching his little lamb cuddly toy and had a binky in his mouth and I realized: he’s still my widdle baybee…

Just a short walk through the neighborhood later, we had arrived. My son walked in, scanned the room and realized – he was going to be very, very busy. Without even making time for a quick photo op with Mommy, he was off and didn’t look back.

And so, of course, the experience was much harder on me than it was on him. But, as parents, isn’t that how we wish all of life could be for our children?

At least until they are old enough to dread the start of the school year and then we’ll probably want to sing them annoying songs just to wind them up.